Working to reduce the number of lives lost to suicide in Rotherham.

Be the one to talk listen care

Every life lost to suicide is an individual tragedy. It also has a widespread and devastating impact on friends, family and the wider community.

Nobody should feel that suicide is the only way out of their current situation.

Everyone should have easy access to support and advice when they are feeling depressed, scared and alone.

We must all learn how to look out for one another and do our bit to help those in distress.

Do you need help now?

If you need to talk to someone now, whatever you’re going through, you can call Samaritans for free 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

SAMARITANS
116 123

A photograph of Joshua, one of the people in the Be the One video

It’s a difficult subject to broach but it’s okay to ask someone if they are thinking about killing themselves – asking the question won’t prompt them to do it.

When you ask, you’re showing your loved ones that you are ready to Talk, Listen and Care.

By talking more openly about suicide we can help to reduce stigma and encourage more people to feel able to ask for help when they need it.
To learn more about speaking about suicide and how to help someone who may be considering suicide please give 30 minutes of your time to take the Zero Suicide Alliance training.

If you are worried about someone, show them TLC

Talk to them over the phone or via social media and say you are worried about them. It is okay to use the word suicide, it can help people know you are taking them seriously.

Listening – this is the most important thing you can do. Give them time to say how they are feeling. You do not need to have the answers.

Care – let them know that that what they are saying is important. Tell them there are other organisations who will want to help. You can find these here on the Be the One website.

Suicide prevention training

Take the online Zero Suicide Prevention Training with Zero Suicide Alliance. It takes just 20 minutes and will teach you how to recognise the warning signs and safeguard someone that could be contemplating suicide.

Take the training now

Be the One to talk

If you are worried that someone is going to kill themself, it can feel hard to talk about.

But YOU could be the person who makes a difference:

If you see someone in distress and something doesn’t seem right, ask them if they are okay. It might just start a conversation that will stop them killing themselves.
If you’re worried about a friend, work colleague or family member, talk to them. Have an open conversation; don’t be afraid to say what you’re thinking. “I’m worried you’re going to kill yourself. Please will you talk to me about how you’re feeling?”

Be the One to listen

You don’t have to be an expert. You just have to listen.

Talking can help people to work through their problems. It can make them feel less alone. It can encourage them to seek professional help. Most importantly, it makes them feel listened to – and that can save lives.

Be patient – it might take a few attempts at getting them to talk before they open up.

Don’t judge – allow them to speak openly without fear of being criticised.

Say things like ‘tell me more’ to keep the conversation going.

Be the One to care

Nobody knows exactly what other people are going through in life. Everybody has lows and bad times and everybody responds to them differently. If we all resolve to care more about other people we can help make the world an easier place for people who are struggling with mental health problems.

Be the one to take action if you’re worried about someone killing themselves.
Take some FREE suicide prevention training (Zero Suicide Alliance).
Talk to your organisation about what it is doing to look after its employees mental health.
Take the ONE PROMISE to get involved in the Be the One campaign.

How to recognise that someone you know may be thinking about suicide

It can be very hard to tell if someone is thinking about suicide, especially as they will often do everything they can to hide the true situation from family and friends.

Looking out for some of the signs below may help.

Changes in the way they are behaving
Such as:
- Significant change in mood – do they seem more anxious, agitated, depressed, quiet?
- Significant changes in appearance, personal hygiene, weight loss
- Loss of interest in things they previously enjoyed doing – perhaps they don’t want to see family or friends or have lost interest in hobbies
- Increased alcohol/drug use

Things they are saying
This could be things they say in person or online.
- ‘I can’t sleep’
- ‘I don’t want to wake up’
- ‘I feel hopeless’
- ‘There’s no point in going on’
- ‘Nothing matters anymore’
- ‘All of my problems will end soon’
- ‘No one can do anything to help me now’
- ‘I wish I was dead’

Recent trauma or stressful event
Has the person experienced a bereavement, the loss of a partner, breakdown of a relationship, redundancy, diagnosis of health problems?

Making preparations
This might include:
- Giving away possessions
- Looking for means to hurt or kill themselves such as hoarding tablets
- Someone to look after their pets
- Saying goodbye

How to talk to someone you don’t know who may be at risk of suicide

How do I tell if someone is thinking about killing themselves?

There are no hard and fast rules, but some signs that someone may be at risk could be standing alone or in an isolated spot, particularly at the train station, near woodland or on a bridge or looking distant, withdrawn or upset.

You won’t do any harm by speaking to them so go with your instincts if you feel something isn’t quite right.

What should I do to help them?

Try to start a conversation. You could simply ask “Are you okay?” or “Is everything alright?” If you’re at the train station you could ask them which train they’re getting. Or talk about the weather. Introduce yourself. Simply interrupting their thoughts might be enough to encourage them to get help.

If someone is in immediate danger you should dial 999. Don’t do anything to put yourself at risk of injury.

How do I talk about suicide?

There is no special language. Don’t be afraid to use terms such as ‘suicide’ and ‘killing yourself’. There is no evidence that this will make someone more likely to kill themselves.

Speak openly, ask direct questions and encourage them to get help and support. Being listened to will make them feel less alone.

What if I say the wrong thing?

Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing. What’s important is letting someone open up about what they are going through.

Be patient. Don’t be judgmental about what they tell you.

You don’t need to offer advice yourself but could make sure they know about services that can help.

Should I call 999?

If you feel you can’t deal with the situation dial 999 and ask for the police. If you are busy talking to the person involved, see if you can get a passer-by to call for you.

Always dial 999 if the person is at immediate risk of injury or harm. Do not put yourself in any danger.

Should I tell someone?

You don’t need to manage on your own. Depending on where you are, you could get the attention of a member of staff or ask a passer-by to alert somebody or call the police. Ask the person if there’s someone you can call for them.

Talking to somebody who is feeling suicidal could save their life, but remember to look after yourself too. You might be left feeling upset or distressed afterwards and it’s important that you have someone to support you.

Help starts here…

National organisations

Samaritans — Free 24hr helpline for people feeling suicidal plus support and resources.

Young Minds — Fighting for young people's mental health

SANE is a leading UK mental health charity working to improve the quality of life for anyone affected by mental illness.

Veterans UK — Providing support to enable the seamless transition from service to civilian life, assist bereaved families or respond to life events that present welfare needs.

Relate — Relationship support for everyone

National Debtline — A registered charity offering free debt advice.

GamCare is the leading national provider of free information, advice and support for anyone affected by problem gambling.

Cruse Bereavement Care — Cruse offers support, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies.

Carers UK — Here to make life better for carers.

Amparo listening service — Amparo provides emotional and practical support for anyone affected by suicide.

Health and wellbeing services

in and around Rotherham

RotherHive

Wellbeing and mental health information, support and advice for adults in Rotherham

Crisis Support from the RDaSH teams

What to do and who to contact in a mental health crisis

Five Ways to Wellbeing

Steps to help you look after your mental health

Connect to Support Rotherham

A website for people looking for adult social care services, advice and support.

Rotherham Gismo

Your one stop shop for all your voluntary, community and faith sector needs in Rotherham.

Stay Alive app

The Stay Alive app is a suicide prevention resource for the UK from Grassroots Suicide Prevention. It is packed full of useful information and tools to help you stay safe in crisis.

You can use it if you are having thoughts of suicide or if you are concerned about someone else who may be considering suicide.

Find out more.